There are many things I need to be reminded of every day.
But, I do not need to be reminded of what needs to be done, what is undone, or what never got done.
I see it. Too much of it. I see it much too easily.
I see the speck of dirt on the floor that someone else was supposed to sweep. On second thought, maybe no one was supposed to sweep it…but still, it should be noted that everyone in my house has functional eyes.
Sometimes I pick that speck up. Other times I lose my mind and act insane until someone else picks it up. And then there are times I walk past it. Today was a time I chose to shove it under a dresser with my foot.
Because if no one else is going to see the mess, we can ignore it too, right? Easy peasy. Right right right.
Do you ever forget a task or chore someone (even yourself) needs to do? Or an appointment someone (even yourself) has? This is rare for most moms. Sure, we’re forgetful, but not of most of the managerial stuff.
(Although once I did show up to a dentist appointment I swore was at 10:15, only to find out I was supposed to be there at 8:00 AM. Needless to say, they did not have room for me at 10:15).
The managerial “stuff” is all so trivial and unimportant. Not because responsibility isn’t important and not because cleanliness isn’t important (to a degree). But because they hold no eternal value.
You know it’s no secret that I’ve let a lot go in my motherhood, learning that so many things don’t matter and aren’t worth my margin. But there are still things I major on, because I like order and systems and the truth is, things run better that way. If people will adhere to them, anyway.
But the truth also is, it is WAY easier for us to remember all of that and become burdened by it– the upkeep and the billions of tabs open in our minds.
On a practical level, in my own family, we are working on a system to remove some of those tabs from my mind and place them FULLY in the ownership of other people who live here.
You know– like if someone is supposed to empty the dishwasher, I don’t have to remind them it’s their turn. And then ask fifty times if they actually did it. And I don’t have to find peanut butter stained spoons in the drawer– ones that didn’t come clean in the dishwasher. Why?
Because someone actually did that job fully. Completely. Start to finish. Even the pre-job part of it, the part of just KNOWING it was their job. Like, they knew it was their job and they remembered that and they went and did it and made sure it was done correctly and completely and I could just keep living my life and not worry about the dishwasher at all that night.
Sounds like a dream, right? It probably won’t work so beautifully . Even still, these things are important, if for nothing else but sanity’s sake.
Just imagine it.
To be able to:
*be FREE of the burden of ALL the household chores and truly be FREE of them. Free of doing them, but also free of CONTROLLING them in any facet. FREEEEEEEEE and truly free.
*teach responsibility and teamwork throughout the family.
*engage in communication over time as to who is doing a good job carrying all of this out. Who is struggling? Does anyone need a switch up of the chores they are in charge of for awhile, etc.?
That’s great. Practical. Yay.
But on a more gut wrenching level, if I sit for a bit I can see while all of THAT is true….it is also unbelievably easy to think through and process and worry and micromanage it all.
For most moms, these managerial things are never far from our minds, while the things we can’t touch or measure or hold, the things that are loftier than us…those things are farther from our minds. Like really far away some days.
These are the things that matter.
The things of the Kingdom.
It is easier for me to notice a dust bunny than to remember that I am dust.
We are but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. I am.
And so are my kids.
And while it’s important our kids are prepared to be functioning adults, whether single or in families one day…it’s more important they are prepared for eternity.
But that’s so much harder to see- the here and now is, well, here and now.
This week I’ve been reading about John the Baptist….and thinking about some of his life in a way I haven’t before.
John’s dad, Zechariah, didn’t believe John’s mom, Elizabeth, would conceive a baby. And not just any ol’ baby– a baby who would prepare the way for the MESSIAH.
Elizabeth was old and barren, y’all. And an ANGEL was telling Zechariah this was all going to happen.
I mean, if an angel came to me I think I’d probably think I was crazy. Or I’d believe everything he told me.
But Zechariah was like “um…how do I know what you say is true?”
Well, he’s an angel, so there’s that. Seems legit to me.
Z’s lack of belief led to him being rewarded with muteness for Elizabeth’s entire pregnancy.
But Elizabeth did indeed conceive, and did indeed give birth, and they did indeed name the baby John (and Z was able to talk again). And… John did indeed prepare the way for Jesus.
You know how?
He did it by preparing PEOPLE.
JTB would make ready for the Lord a people prepared.
That sentence amazes me.
It’s straight from Luke 1.
By preaching and teaching that the Messiah would come, John was preparing the people for when the Messiah did in fact begin his ministry.
And when Jesus did begin his ministry, guess what? People started responding.
In John 3 we read that John is baptizing people– but so is Jesus. John’s disciples come and ask him “Hey. So…People are going to the one you bore witness to. They’re having him baptize them.”
And John says ….oh how John says.
He says “Hey. The one who has the bride is the bridegroom! And the friend of the bridegroom rejoices at his voice!” (Luke 1)
I mean, he is saying “GUYS. Of course JESUS has the people coming to him. He IS the GUY. HE’S THE ONE. And I have prepared the way for Him, and I REJOICE that this is happening. It is my life’s work and purpose!”
JTB then utters some famous words– “This joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.” (Luke 1)
Can you imagine? His JOY IS COMPLETE.
Liiiiike, “It’s cool everyone, I am absolutely complete right now in the department of joy. And by the way, I HAVE to have less and less followers, it has to be that way! It’s the whole point! I prepared a people– they were made ready. They did what I prepared them for. Jesus has to be more and more, it’s what I’ve been working towards every day!”
JTB was JOYFUL that Jesus was who people went to. He prepared a people for Jesus. And he was successful, we know, because they did in fact go to Jesus.
And this caused JTB’s joy to be complete.
This wrecks me.
Mamas, may we prepare a people.
And when Jesus draws them to know and follow Him, may they be ready.
May they leave us behind for Him.
Because He MUST increase. I MUST decrease.
Yes, Lord.
Amen, Let it be so.
Soli Deo Gloria.
©Alisha H. Cary 2020
